It's all about the cojones

As our friends south of the border can tell you, no political campaign is complete without open bragging among candidates about the size of their manhood.

I will never drink Gatorade again....EVER!!

Do you think you have conspiracies at work? Was is just Lee Harvey or was there a man on the grassy knoll? You do know Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong filmed that whole damn moon landing in a basement on Hollywood right? RIGHT? Well, you had better sit down for this one. This conspiracy has been going on for decades in every grocery store, gas station and sporting event across America. Only click if you want to know the truth, if you dare.

here kitty kitty

i adopted a cat. his name is murphy, he is two years old, and he stays inside all the time. i am one step closer to being the crazy spinster on the street with all the cats.

Sometimes pregnant women are scary

Post Secret rocks. Gordon has put it up before but I was reading this one and it really struck a chord. Maybe not like the sentimental post cards that confess molestation, suicide, and infidility, but more along the lines of events that happen close to home.

I often see the gaze my wife casts over food. Lately, being 5 months pregnant, I tried to imagine the food before her as a crippled gazelle starring at the cold, heartless eyes of a lion moments before a powerful maw clamps down on its jugular.

I often see the gaze my wife casts over food. Lately, being 5 months pregnant, I tried to imagine the food before her as a crippled gazelle starring at the cold, heartless eyes of a lion moments before a powerful maw clamps down on its jugular.

However, this poor fool described it better than I ever could. I am assuming that this person is real and this could be a real problem. Maybe that is why I found it so hilarious. Because I can see my wife, protruding belly and all, emptying a clip into some toque wearing pastry chef to gorge on cheesecake.

I had a bad feeling something like this was going to happen

This post is mainly for Ken I Gordon I guess, although others of you may also be Wheel of Time fans. I came across this the other day and although it's not a brand new story it was the first I'd heard it. I just thought crap, if the Wheel of Time is never finished I am going to be pissed. Of course I felt sorry for Robert Jordan too. Luckily he's on the last book in the series, because the disease sounds pretty bad.

http://www.tor.com/jordan/

"Oh my god!"

That is the signature line uttered by the cameraman as his friend is injured. As seen here and here. Maybe it's just because I'm really tired, but the rope swing is especially funny.

Ninjas on the loose

ATF agents detained a ninja at the University of Georgia on Tuesday. No, really. Jeremiah Ransom was returning from a "pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained."

Jeremiah's virginity was a violation, but only of social norms. He was set free.

Aquarium Of The Pacific

As usual, every spring break trip to mom and dad's place involves the obligatory trip to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach.

Right in the main hall is a tank that's looks to be around thirty feet tall. The second pic's a bit blurry, but the eel in the background makes it worthwhile.




There's also some pretty good sized non fish tanks for otters, sea lions, and diving birds. Several of the tanks for the different sections such as tropical, the sea lions, etc, have these tunnel style tanks. The pic with Casey gives you some idea of the size.





The tropical sections tend to be a favorite for the colors.

Nepalese please

In Nepal they have the cutest babies.

Pony ride

While on spring break, Mom took the girls for a lesson on her pony. The lighter colored one with the two color mane is Mom's. The brown pony belongs to one of Mom's friends.

Persian Power

A month or so back in this post, Alejandro mentioned my penis severing thoughts just might make for an honorary Iranian.

As anyone familiar with me knows, I peruse the occasional knife catalog. So in light of that previous post I'd be remiss not to tell you all about the exciting folders from Emerson and Spyderco with Persian style blades. Genital severing power at a moments notice. Sounds like a stocking stuffer for Dianne.

The foundation of my childhood memories

I believe that there is proof, a concrete mathematical correlation, between the substandard and deficient quality of children being manufactured today and the absence of Calvin and Hobbes.


As a child, I would always save Calvin and Hobbes for last. No matter how bad a taste Beetle Bailey or Mary Worth left me with, my daily read could always be redeemed, my faith restored with a toboggan ride down a hill or a ride along with Spaceman Spiff.

Children today, if they decide to learn to read before their freshman year of high school, have no comic companions to daydream with about tree houses that exclude girls, explore foreign worlds and battle an alien that is really your teacher, or build a deranged mutant killer monster snow goon.

Do yourselves a favor and indoctrinate your children now. Let your children experience Something Under the Bed is Drooling. It is really for your sake. Without this foundation, your children will most likely end up stuffing tacos with a sour cream filled grease gun at Taco Bell or fishing at the end of a pier for food. Please do not leave your children to likes of Family Circus or Marmaduke. The drive thru at Taco Bell already screws my order up one out of every three times I go there.

Zoo 2006

Starting to look through our Spring Break pics. Here's a couple from the L.A. Zoo.

Lesson of the Day

Yes, I've been lazy and haven't been posting. I'll put up some of our spring break pics tonight. For now you'll have to make do with this video of an octopus eating a shark.

I'll leave you with the Lesson of the Day.

You are NOT Spiderman.