The foundation of my childhood memories

I believe that there is proof, a concrete mathematical correlation, between the substandard and deficient quality of children being manufactured today and the absence of Calvin and Hobbes.


As a child, I would always save Calvin and Hobbes for last. No matter how bad a taste Beetle Bailey or Mary Worth left me with, my daily read could always be redeemed, my faith restored with a toboggan ride down a hill or a ride along with Spaceman Spiff.

Children today, if they decide to learn to read before their freshman year of high school, have no comic companions to daydream with about tree houses that exclude girls, explore foreign worlds and battle an alien that is really your teacher, or build a deranged mutant killer monster snow goon.

Do yourselves a favor and indoctrinate your children now. Let your children experience Something Under the Bed is Drooling. It is really for your sake. Without this foundation, your children will most likely end up stuffing tacos with a sour cream filled grease gun at Taco Bell or fishing at the end of a pier for food. Please do not leave your children to likes of Family Circus or Marmaduke. The drive thru at Taco Bell already screws my order up one out of every three times I go there.