Farm wages

In a paper on obesity at UC Davis, I ran across this

"Average farm-worker earnings were $7.56 an hour for US field and livestock workers in 2000, according to a USDA survey of farm employers, and a 40 percent increase would raise them by $3 to $10.58. If this wage increase were passed fully to consumers, the 5 to 6 cent farm labor cost of a pound of apples or a head of lettuce would rise to 7 to 9 cents, and the retail price would rise by 2 to 3 cents."

That's right. A 40 percent increase in wages would result in a whopping price increase of 2-3 cents per pound of fresh produce. Something to keep in mind next time someone tries to tell you low wages for Mexicans is the reason we have access to cheap fruits and vegetables.

Thanksgiving haiku

Here's a Native American Thanksgiving haiku I ran across the other day.


White man invades us,
Steals our land and livelihood!
Enjoy pie, asswipes.

The Nightmare before Thanksgiving

As if listening to Christmas music is not bad enough, my surrogate family has decided to forgo mash potatoes and replace them with mac and cheese. This is Thanksgiving people, not snack time in kindergarten class. Why don't you just serve me some tofu. You know what, just forget it. I am going to get me a nachos bell grande. Thats about as Thanksgiving as Mac and Cheese.

Promise Keepers infiltrated

Some columinst at SF Weekly infiltrated a Promise Keepers rally. It is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

He even infiltrates the Prayer Team. Here's an excerpt.

"What is it you want us to pray with you for tonight?"
The curly-haired man is unsure how to express it in words.
"Is it pornography?" blurts the Sunday school teacher in a low voice.
"Yeah, pornography," I repeat more sternly, playing the bad cop in our Prayer Team situation.
"No," replies the curly-haired guy.
"Is it homosexuality?" I blurt in a more accusing manner, taking another stab at it.
"No!" he says in a louder voice, explaining he simply wants us to pray that he'll stay focused on school and stay clear of bad forces.
"Are you sure it's not homosexuality?" I repeat. It isn't.
The hands go on the shoulders, the eyes go shut, as we huddle up. Like freestyle rappers, we each take a turn at doing a spontaneous prayer for the curly-haired guy. When it's the Sunday school teacher's turn, I contribute by occasionally repeating various phrases he says, along with throwing in the intermittent "Yes! Yes!" and "Evil days! Evil days!" all in a monotone voice, while testing the limits of what would be an inappropriate touch.
When the Sunday school teacher hands over the mike to me, I simply start by plagiarizing his prayer, then throwing in a long mix about looking out for the Satan. The mention of the word "Satan" causes the Sunday school teacher to convulse and sort of jump back, letting out an almost orgasmic verbal moan. "Uhhhhh!"
I momentarily stop and open my eyes to see what the hell is going on. Thus, I keep mentioning Satan to get this Pavlovian response.
"Beware of Satan's forces!"
"Uhhhh!"
The Prayer Booth area is buzzing with various raised voices and Bible quotes.
Next up for us: a father-and-son combination.
"What is it you want us to pray for tonight?"
"Tell them what you did," says the father (a man) to his son (soon to be a man).
"I got in a fight at school," the son portion of the father-and-son team says with lowered head, giving the reason for the fight as some other kid "smack-talking" him.
Since I don't know any Bible passages, I try to lend authenticity by attempting to speak in Old English, as we once again huddle up.
"Oh Lord, protectith Trevor from the smack-talker. 'Cause blessed be he who turneth the other cheek to the smack-talkers. For the non-smack-talkers will inherit the Earth over the smack-talkers, for blessed be he who is a non-smack-talker."
For good measure, I make sure to mention Satan.
"Uhhhhhh!"

It's shocking I tell you

No wonder Kenneth doesn't have kids. His hobbies are getting in the way.

Serbs line up for testicle shocks
Men in Serbia are
lining up to have electric shocks delivered to their testicles as part of a new contraceptive treatment.
Serbian fertility expert Dr Sava Bojovic, who runs
one of the clinics offering the service, said the small electric shock makes men temporarily infertile by stunning their sperm into a state of immobility.
He said: "We attach electrodes to either side of the testicles and send low electricity currents flowing through them.
"This stuns the sperm,
effectively putting them to sleep for up to 10 days, which means couples can have sex without fear of getting pregnant.
"The method does not kill the
sperm permanently and it does not affect the patient's health."
Dr Bojovic added patients were now lining up at his fertility clinic in Novi Banovci for the shock treatment, as it had none of the problems attached to using condoms, the male pill or having a vasectomy.
He added: "We are hoping to have a
small battery powered version on sale in the shops in time for Xmas."

Mormon Darwin Award

Man Jumped From Truck Following Argument
November 12th, 2005 @ 9:21pm

(KSL News) Police now say an argument caused a 21-year-old man to jump from a moving truck in South Jordan.
Tyler Poulson was riding with his brothers last night when he became offended by one of them using profanity. Poulson, who recently returned from an LDS mission, threatened to get out of the truck if he continued.
One of the men, not thinking he would, told Poulson to.
Earlier police said the car was going about 35 miles an hour when Poulson opened the door and jumped. He was pronounced dead on scene.

These MIT guys rule

On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets:
An Empirical Study

Form Blazing Sword

The guy across from me was reminiscing about Voltron, and I remembered that crappy Voltron knockoff, Tranzor Z.

It did have its moments of genius, namely the sidekick robot Aphrodite-A.

I am bored at work

So I am bored out of my mind and tired of surfing the web, emailing, posting on numerous blogs, and what not. So, I thought I would post a picture of what a typical class looks like at GSU. There are not so many lily whites as you normally see at the U, Utah State, or the Y. If you have forgotten what I look like, I am the goofy one almost in the center of the picture.

Can you give this a grade, Mom?

I simply could not resist. This is an actual note from an eighth grader, taken by Coach Swift in Health class today, the 2nd of November. I was wondering how she would fair in A.P English.
For a translation, go here

Halloween 2005

At least if didn't snow on us like it did the last couple years. Downright mild. It was all about the tiger and vampire action in '05.

Soon it will be winter...pass the booze

The warmth is winding down here. Starting to get some frost at night. The rain the last month or so has been good for roses. Probably the last good batch of the year.