Thursday, September 29, 2005

Teapot


I'd never seen Ken's mirror pic, but this is the one that made the rounds here at work at a while back.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Where were you on this one Gordon?

This table is being sold on Ebay. How can you tell it is a man selling the table?




Monday, September 26, 2005

More Onion goodness

Scalia Goes On Abortion Bender After Being Passed Over For Chief Justice


NORFOLK, VA—Saying "Fuck this shit, I'm stopping beating hearts with my bare hands," Justice Antonin Scalia, overlooked for the vacated position of Supreme Court chief justice, went on a spiteful abortion-performing bender over the weekend. "If I'm not going to be permitted a lasting judicial legacy, to hell with law and order," said Scalia, the conservative Reagan appointee who has served on the court since 1986. "I worked my ass off for 20 years, and no one cares. So, who gives a shit? Safe, legal abortions for all. Who wants one?" Scalia added that 2000 presidential candidate Al Gore "totally won that election, any idiot knows that."

Friday, September 23, 2005

Experts

All this hurricane flooding happening just as predicted brings to mind a certain satire article done by the Onion a few years back.

This excerpt is classic.

"Despite all our efforts to advise this nation, America still throws
out its recyclables, keeps its guns in unlocked cabinets where children have easy access, eats three times as much red meat as is recommended, watches seven hours of TV per day, swims less than 10 minutes after eating, and leaves halogen lights on while unattended," said Dr. Simon Peavy, vice-president of the
National Association of Experts. "Since you don't seem to care about things you don't understand, screw you. We quit."


"My final piece of expert advice," Peavy added, "is that all of you people should just go fuck yourselves."

Some more funny jokes

For some reason, these jokes made me laugh.

Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says, "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush
"You have AIDS."
Gay Bob is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?".
Doc says,
"Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots, drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape Nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."
Gay Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says,
"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your Ass is for."


AND

Q: why do girls rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: because they don't have any balls to scratch




Thursday, September 22, 2005

Beware the phallic hurricane


I kid you not, this is the picture on the government's weather site.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Touched by His Noodly Appendage


For any of you still unfamiliar with the Flying Spaghetti Monster, now is the time to repent and be welcomed into the fold.

In the name of Flying Spaghetti Monster,
rAmen.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Zap 'em



This picture accompanied a banner on my login page for Yahoo email that read

"We don't just find viruses. We zap 'em."

And what are they zapping them with? Apparently a large pair of breasts.

Put your orders in now

Thats right people. I made that from scratch. I cut out the design and everything. Maybe if you are lucky enough to have me draw your name for christmas, you'll get one. If not, cash, check, or money order made out to Master Woodworker for $30 will be fine.

Anybody can grow flowers. Not everyone can handle large pieces of wood like me. Except maybe Kerri, and that is after 2 years of experience. hahahaha

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Giant Microbes



My kids love stuffed animals. I'm thinking of getting them some educational ones like these on Giant Microbes.

These are pics of Syphilis and Ebola. Awesome.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Pimpest Van Ever



At one of our many stops for ice cream at a gift shop, we ran across the pimpest van ever. Words fail me.

Coffee Press


This is my new coffee press, and it kicks ass. It's a stainless insulated French Press. Why French Press? Paper filters filter out some of the oils. Some of those oils are ones with significant anti cancer properties, so paper filtered isn't as healthy as well as not as tasty.

It can be bought here. I have the 8 cup size.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Camera


Ken asked what kind of camera I've been using in the comments on the post below, so I though I'd put the specs up in case anyone else was curious.

Our old Olympus digital cam broke a while back, so a few months ago we bought a Sony at Costco. (Incidentally, one of the reasons I buy damn near everything at Costco is that one of their policies is that they limit markup to 14 percent.) Ours is the 5.1 megapixel. They had a Nikon and a Canon that were a little cheaper, but the LCD screen on the back was tiny. The Sony's screen is much larger. For those of you who aren't using digitals yet, the reason you want that big screen in back is that you can look at the pics you've taken, and if they haven't turned out, or your finger was in front of the lens, etc, you can just delete them right there. With the tiny screen, it's really hard to make out your picture. I also prefer regular batteries to rechargeable. When you're out in the middle of nowehere, you don't always have a charger. The Sony we bought takes just two AA's, and the case it came with has a little zip pouch that easily holds 4 more, so at any given time you've got two extra sets. We also spent 50 bucks and got a 512 mg card, which on a 5 megapixel camera will hold at least 200 pics.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone

I remember going here with Mom and Dad, so I'm thinking maybe all of us remember this.

The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone is upstream on the Yellowstone River, past Hayden Valley if you're coming from the lake. There's two large waterfalls, Upper and Lower. It was a bit overcast and breezy that morning, hence the fleeces. The river leaves the road at this point, and you take these scenic turnoffs to access the trails to see the canyon. When you look at the falls, you're looking upstream back towards the main road.

Upper Falls:

To get an idea of the size of Upper Falls, look closely to the right side at the top of the falls, and you can see a couple people at a different vantage point. The red jacket makes it easier to pick out.

Lower Falls, as seen from a lookout called Artists Point.

Boiling Lake

Boiling Lake is actuall a short hike up near Chester, but this area looks a lot like it. There's a bunch of boiling ponds and mud pots here that look just like the ones at Boiling Lake in Lassen.

This locale is near where we took that picture of the bison herd. It's right across the road from the Yellowstone River, before you hit that Hayden Valley section.

By far our favorite feature at this site was Dragon's mouth, a boiling muddy spring. The name comes from the loud rumblings that come out of that cave structure.