What is the Swift blog without old school pictures?
Ahhhh. Young love and 70's sideburns. The stuff the good ole' days were made of. They may look like hippies, but they were the farthest thing from it. Lessons in kindergarten from Gray's Anatomy on the biological functions of the human body to coming home from the library with as many books as your little arms could carry. The only drug we were exposed to was formaldehyde. There was nothing better than spending a day at the museum of Natural History; well, maybe eating homemade bread.
I think Susan was trained from birth to perfect the "disapproving stare" that only a mother can give you. Who can blame her when she had to babysit someone who would do this. Still, she is a great older sister. She always took care of us and brought home awesome boyfriends for us to play with. Once, I woke up to find a boyfriend sleeping in the bed below me. Waking up as teenage boy, you often awake with erections. Imagine that and then seeing a strange, grown man sleeping in the bed below you. It can be a little unnerving, to say the least. Rich, you scared the crap out of me that day.
If you ever need to see physical characteristics of what is neccessary of an older brother, here it is. Gordon is maybe 5 and looks like he is going to kick you in the nuts, or call you stupid, or both. That gaze is one of mental superiority and his willingness to use it to humiliate you. I still remember a phrase he used to use with me. "I am the only one who is allowed to beat you up."
Look at Karen. So pure. She once cried when she said "shit." I remember it so vividly. We were throwing rings into the pool and then diving in to get them before they touched the bottom. Karen accidently threw hers down at the other side of the pool. As she dove in, the word slipped from her mouth. She did not believe me when I told her as she got out of the pool. I think the shock on my face convinced her and she started to cry. If I ever needed an example, she was it. I think I will ride her coatails to the celestial kingdom.
How fitting that I am seated at the table. It also looks like I have a full diaper too. This was probably moments before I decided to moon the camera. Whenever someone says children are adorable, refer them to this picture. I have a butt chin and what looks like to be the beginning of man boobs.
Dianne always did love to talk. She still does now with everyone but her family. hahaha Actually, I just spoke to her today. She is probably practicing calling someone a retard. You would not think she would grow up and be a waiter, but then her sarcasm may actually be be lost on most individuals in this world. I was always a great day when she was around as part of the 4 amigos. Everything from dumpster diving at Holly Avenue and running from the janitors to bike rides over to the $.99 cent store to buy 4 candy bars for a dollar. Leaving her behind to go to college was like leaving behind my best friend.
posted by Ken @ 2/08/2006 04:23:00 PM
15 comments
15 Comments:
Of course I'm the only one allowed to beat you up. And check out what fat heads we all had. Dianne's features barely poke out of the blub.
Her face is so flat it is hilarious. Dad's chops were awesome. It must have been a joy for mom to push out 5 basketballs during labor.
you make it sound as if a waitressing is my career. "oh susan, gordon, and karen...my heros!....what a loser dianne turned out to be."
well you remember that, when i become famous and am making millions, you will only get half a million for x-mas while the others get a cool million.
Shut up. I was the harshest on myself with my ugliness. I will fix it in a second.
that's better! hahaha, you know why your diaper is so big? i think i remember mom talking about how she used to have put two on you at a time. and i like how karen and i have the same chin but you can't see mine...at all. i bet i was thinking, "i wish this phone was made out of chocolate."
aaaand, gordon made of ken and mine bowl cuts on myspace. but look at THAT bowl cut on him.
I know! Damnit.
Do you remeber the raisnettes you ate that we found in the dumpster at Holly? I was suprised you didn't catch some gnarly bacterial disease.
In the dumpster? Jesus. I don't remember hearing about that.
And "gnarly"? Holy 80's Batman.
i tell that story and can never stop laughing and people think i am disgusting. in my defense, they were still in their wrapper! it is not as bad as when i was sent to my room for a punishment by mom and i would pass the time by seeing how many pennies i could fit in my mouth at once. i would just pour my piggy bank into my mouth.
HAHAHAHAHA. holy shit that is awesome. Sure they will still in their wrapper but we were literally swimming in that huge dumpster. Taking all the school supplies and throwing it all over place and then having to run like hell to avoid being caught. Greg and I were home free until we saw that you you and Todd were being ushered in to the principals office.
Oh my hell. You used to stuff your mouth with pennies? That's nasty. Those raisenettes are sounding positively pristine.
i know! i froze. and watched rubin the janitor chase todd in a literal circle for about 30 seconds.
as for the pennies, i was a kid! methodically testing the voloume my mouth could hold and finely tuning my taste buds.
you know, although i feel like i'm encroaching on tribal territory, I must say... that whole penny thing explains a lot.
Believe you me, I've had that same thought.
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