A General's Prayer

A prayer from Jeus's General.

Lord, please bless the State Security Apparatus, that it might conduct
it's wiretaps to the best of its abilities. Provide Our Leader with the ability
to look into our bedrooms, so that He might catch French politicians putting
their little soldiers in ladies' mouths and watch celebrities doing it. And
Lord, let him share those videos with godly men like myself, who may then rail
against these evils from our pulpits.

And bless our interrogators and their glowsticks and electrified nipple
clamps of freedom. Provide them with the ability to induce pain as close as
possible to that experienced during organ failure without quite equaling it.And
give us the ability to kill brown people more efficiently, so that our
contractors may garner more fruit from their labor.

Amen